Ups and downs

Today was an up day. My scale is actually useful again. I had been so overweight that my scale would only read OL. So, I stopped using it several years ago.

Today was a mile-stone. It actually read 307.4!!! Now, I'm a bit hesitant like pregnant women in their first trimester to report this news, because as we women know, tomorrow it might read OL again. However, today it actaully stopped at the 307.4 number and even that is quite an accomplishment.

I have definitely had my low points this month. I went to my hand surgeons office and weighed myself on their scale and it showed I had actually gained 4 lbs. I was back up to 315!!! I said screw this!!! On my way home I stopped and got a piece of pizza and three cookies. What a mistake that was!!!

I could not eat the entire piece of pizza, nor the three cookies. I became physically ill. I had never felt this bad after eating something like that before. I wanted to purge it from my body, but I hate throwing up. It got to the point at work though that I went into the bathroom and tried. It was too late.

I still remember that feeling and that is helping me stay on track. As I said, I HATE throwing up.

Today is my 8-week anniversary of no soda. Last week I had a dream I drank a Sprite though. I thought that was a bit odd. I hadn't had a Sprite in ages prior to my ceasing my fizzy love and to dream of it so late in the process was a bit funny. I don't miss it anymore but that does not mean I don't crave the lovely bubbles dancing on my tongue from time to time.

I have my next appointment with the doc a week from today and I hope we will be able to go forward with the obtaining the surgery authorization from the insurance company. I would like to think in about 6-weeks I'll have the surgery completed and on the journey to a true life changing event.

I'm still looking for that incentive dress in a size 12 for my to purchase. That is going to be visual reminder of one of the goals I have. I honestly don't know if I can get below a 12. I haven't been that small since I was a kid. This is really a step into the unknown for me, even with all of its ups and downs.